Mom-ness

Since Mother's Day is approaching, I think it's appropriate to talk about mom-ness for a bit. Actually I've been thinking about it a lot... even lying awake for hours at night thinking about it! I always thought I'd be a working mom. Mostly because my mom worked and I got the vibe from several friends of mine early on that their moms were better than mine because they stayed at home. So naturally I defended my mom and thought that she was the greatest in the world (still do!) because she worked harder than any of those other moms! And of course I wanted to be just like her. It's quite possible that if I had a job that I really loved I would have been happy to go back to work after 8 weeks at home. And if we had stayed in Maryland it wouldn't have mattered whether or not I liked my job, I would have had to return out of financial necessity. But since we moved and I wasn't doing anything I enjoyed anyways, it made sense for me to stay home with Chase. It was something I really looked forward to while I was pregnant. I literally had a count down on my calendar at work and I sat there daydreaming at my desk about how nice it would be to be a stay-at-home mom! But now that I'm here, I kind of wish I was working. Not that I don't love spending time with Chase and watching his every move... I just miss work. One day while Eric's mom was here we drove through downtown Tampa and I felt so jealous of everyone walking around in their business casual outfits, on their way to some important meeting. I wanted to be one of those people again. But on the other hand, I know that if I was working, I would feel the exact opposite... I would miss Chase terribly, I'd worry about if he was getting proper care with someone else, I would be struggling with pumping milk every few hours, and I'd be stressed out at night as I rushed home to cook dinner, keep the house clean, and spend time with Eric and Chase. And if I did go back to work, where would that be? For some reason, I can't even decide on what I want to do. When I was in college it seemed so easy to just say, "I'm going to be an engineer," but now it's not that simple anymore. I want to do something I enjoy, I don't want to sit in front of a computer all day, I want to interact with people, and I want to make a difference. For now, I'm going to do all of those things just by taking care of Chase... and I'm okay with that.

Of course, I'd love to make some friends though! It's never easy to move somewhere new where you don't know anyone. I've really been trying hard these last few days to get out there and meet some people. On Monday and Wednesday I went to a Stroller Strides class that meets in my neighborhood. It was a tough workout and I really enjoyed it! The only problem is that it's a little pricey, and I feel bad about spending money instead of making money. But I met a few people and I think I'll go back every once in a while. I also did something I've never done before... I bumped into a couple while I was out running with Berkeley and just started talking to them and even asked for their phone number! (Eric says that it's like I'm looking for dates and I need to wait 2 days before calling!) I'm terrible at stuff like that. I want to be more like my friend Ginger, who seems to be really brave and meets friends everywhere. Sometimes I try to think, "what would Ginger say in this situation?" Because all I can really think of is, "hey, we look like we're the same age and might have similar interests, so do you want to be friends or what?!" But of course, you just can't say that.

Speaking of becoming a mom, I know that I really treasured any piece of advice that I could get from friends while I was pregnant, so I decided to make a short list of a few things that I recommend for any pregnant women (or future pregnant women) out there reading this. The first one is a book called, "Prayers for Expectant Mothers" by Angela Thomas Guffey. I actually didn't read this book while I was pregnant, but I wish I had. My mom gave it to me at some point and unfortunately I have a really bad habit of "cleaning" the house and putting things in drawers! So that's where this book stayed until last week when I happened to find it while looking for something to read. And then I read it from cover to cover! It's SO encouraging and uplifting, and it describes exactly how I felt on many days while I was pregnant. It's basically one woman's journal of all of the various emotions you feel while expecting. I can't recommend it enough. Unfortunately it looks like you can't buy it new from Barnes and Noble, but there are plenty of used copies out there (for $2!) and of course, I'll be glad to lend someone mine if they want it! Next on my list is Mama Mio stuff. I heard about these products in one of the pregnancy magazines and decided to try it out. And I'm here to report I have zero stretch marks as a result! Of course, I can't say for sure that it was the cream that worked and not just pure luck... but at the very minimum I can promise you that your skin will be soft and non-itchy for 9 months if you use it every day! I love it! By the way, I found mine on e-bay! Finally, for anyone out there who wants to run during pregnancy, you absolutely have to try the Belly Bra! I couldn't have made through my third trimester without it. Actually, I think a lot of women use these in their every day activities because it really relieves the tension in your back and provides a lot of support for the extra weight on your front side. I found that you can get them from Target.com for less than other sites. Oh and one final product-push is for Hypnobirthing, which I mentioned in Chase's birth story. I think I said enough there about it, but the link definitely belongs here among things I recommend for pregnant women! Regardless of whether you want a natural birth or not, it's such a great book and program, if you can take the classes. Okay, I think I'm done with my advertisements for today!! And Chase is waking up so that means free time is over! ;)