Emotional

I had heard from a lot of people that the emotions you experience after having a baby can be pretty intense. Coming up on the 2 week mark, I can definitely say that it's true! It seems like I have felt every emotion possible these last 13 days. I probably cried more than I have in the last 6 months, although sometimes it was because I was sad, and sometimes out of sheer joy.

It seems to me that being around a newborn is like being in God's presence. It's like Chase came straight from heaven. It sounds cliche, but there's really no other way to explain it. He's so innocent and pure, a clean slate. I feel so undeserving of such a gift and so humbled by the amount of responsibility I now have. And so overwhelmed with love for him. I can't even count the number of times that I've teared up just looking at him since he's been born. I also completely lost it at the doctors office when he had to have his heel pricked last week... it just broke my heart to hear him cry and to know he was experiencing pain. It's really strange the way a baby makes you feel and it's not something you can prepare for at all!

On top of all of that, I also feel new intense emotions towards other people in my life. I have such a greater appreciation for my parents. The whole time that they were here, all I could think about was how I didn't want them to leave. I hate that they're so far away. I guess it all stems from the realization that the way I feel about Chase is the way they feel about me. It makes me want to really try harder to be a better daughter.

I want to be a better wife too. Eric has been nothing short of amazing lately! He's seen me at my weakest and at my strongest moments and has been the one consistent thing in my life when everything else was changing. He's taken care of me, Chase, Berkeley, Elvis and the house!! I've never seen him do so much cooking and cleaning! :) I'm more in love with him now than ever.