I've been venturing out a little bit more lately. Now that the twins are old enough to sit in a double shopping cart, I can take all 4 of them into the grocery store and come out with a little more than just a loaf of bread. Going out in public with 4 kids under 5 elicits all kinds of stares and comments from mostly nice, well meaning people. Folks just love twins! Most of the time I don't mind talking to strangers, as long as they're not slowing me down! But I have to share with you some of the actual comments I've heard that have really bugged me. Here is what NOT to say to a frazzled mama of 4:
"Twins? Wow, I'm sorry!"
"You've sure got your hands full!" (This is mostly annoying because of how frequently I hear it. I have a competition going with some of my fellow twin moms... who can rack up the most "You've got your hands full" comments in one shopping trip!)
"You're done having kids, right?!"
"You poor thing."
And this one, which actually came from a girl that I know pretty well, got to me the most:
"It's funny how things turn out. I mean, if you knew you were going to get pregnant with twins you would never have tried for baby #3!" Seriously?! No, I don't regret my children!!!
So in case you're wondering what you SHOULD say to someone who looks like they're in the deep end out in public, whether they have just 1 child or 10 (it's all challenging!)... how about:
"You're kids are so ___________ (fill in the blank: cute, well behaved, clean, just pick something positive even if it's not true!)"
"How can I help? Can I get the door for you?"
2 comments:
I've thought of doing a post like this!!! It's amazing what people would say. I remember when the babies were still in the NICU, the security guard letting us in said, "Wow. I feel sorry for you!" Really??? I dont think people mean it the way it sounds, but think before you speak! I almost dread going out with the triplets b/c I can get nowhere fast. I walk them in my neighborhood and people jump off their bikes, stop their cars, you name it. I'm like, is it really worth an accident to stare at 3 babies?? I don't know, it does get tough. I think the biggest thing I get is someone who is staring directly at all three of them and then looks at me and says, "There's three of them??" Lol.
Even with not having kids yet, I could appreciate this blog from Momastery: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
It seems to me like even the very difficult days (and shopping trips) are worth it in the end! I do wonder what people are thinking when they say things like that - not a chance that they are thinking of the fact that it wouldn't be encouraging!
Love you Shay!
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