What I learned

I'm ready to write again. For the last few weeks I've been "mind blogging" a lot (sort of writing my blog in my head constantly... does anyone else do that?), and I feel like my brain is so full that it's time to type it all out. So here goes.

Last week my grandfather passed away. My dad's dad... my granddaddy. It was kind of sudden. We knew that he wasn't feeling too great and had given up on eating well and taking care of himself, but I don't think anyone knew how bad it was. Turns out that he had cancer and once he was in the hospital, he only made it a few more days. Chase and I hopped in the car as soon as I heard the news. I was a little stressed out by the whole ordeal... Eric was out of town, Eric's sister Karin was staying with us (which was a huge help!), and the news was telling us that hurricane Fay might hit Tampa in a few days! Karin and I rushed around pulling in all of the outdoor furniture, hammock, plants and Chase's slide; and I packed our clothes and all of the groceries that I'd just bought the night before (when I didn't know we were leaving). I had to take the dogs with me since the kennels weren't open on Sunday. And Karin was sweet enough to go to the airport early to catch her flight home so that we could get on the road quicker. Oh yeah, and there was the hour-long stop at the Verizon Wireless store to transfer my phone number to Eric's old cell phone, since mine had gotten wet the day before and wasn't working anymore. After fighting with them for a while because Eric's name is on the account and he wasn't present (and explaining that I had my baby and 2 dogs in the car and I was driving to my granddad's funeral and I MUST have a phone), I finally left with what I wanted and headed to Charleston.

My granddaddy's funeral was the first I've ever been to and it was terrible. I mean, of course, everyone kept saying how wonderful it was and how it was "so well done" and that he would've liked it. But really, I didn't like it at all. I am grateful that I was able to see him again, especially in his uniform from his days in the Marines, which he never ever talked about. And I'm grateful that my dad's family was (mostly) all there, because I hardly ever see them anymore. And I guess I'm also grateful that my cousin Jason is a minister now because it was nice to have him lead the service... it was so personal. But I'd really rather not ever go to a funeral again, and it saddens me to think that yes, there will be many more.

I learned a lot from my family while I was at home. In between his tears, my dad was full of wisdom and funny stories. He told me and my sisters that we should always be quick to forgive those that are closest to us, because it's just not worth it to hold on to grudges and bad feelings. You truly only get one chance to build a strong relationship; our time is so short. You can choose to focus on the bad in someone, or you can look for the good. This reminded me of something my wise friend Katie once said: "We should always expect the best from those we love. Always give them the benefit of the doubt." I think it ties into a parenting philosophy that Eric and I have talked about too: that if you tell a child that he's smart and happy and beautiful, then he will feel those things, and be those things. And it's the same for everyone around us... even our parents and our siblings. I think sometimes we're the hardest on them because we know SO much about them and we've often seen their mistakes more closely than others. So we have to be extra careful about labeling them in negative ways, and we should treat them as though they are wonderful, and we should forgive.